raisegoodkids

First of all, sorry that I’ve been away for a little bit. I’ve been focusing most of my writing attention on a short story contest and submitting other paid articles. Money is tight these days and I’m trying to contribute as much as possible.

 FYI - The dinosaurs are still roaming the area. We went fishing this past weekend and guess what we caught, that’s right, Dinosaur Fish!! Again, I had no idea that these things even existed anymore. The toys are still active in their daily revolt against order and cleanliness. No improvement on that front. Darn, I was really hoping that my sticker reward chart would work with Spiderman and The Guy!

 Now, back to my title: Why Do We Have To Judge?

Most of the blogs that I read have to do with family and parenting, but I also read some current events blogs and some celebrity and religion blogs. The authors of most of the family and parenting blogs are women - mothers. I cannot understand why some of these role models continue to write such judgemental and sometimes ridiculous articles. I have a hard time reading them with a straight face and without rolling my eyes at some of the comments made.

Instead of constantly judging other parents and telling them that what they are doing is wrong, maybe we should use this outlet as a support network. I have met several very friendly fellow bloggers that share some of the same hardships that I do. We share ideas and stories, it is fun. However, some other bloggers use this outlet to proclaim what fantastic parents they are. They proclaim that their way is the only right way to do things. They proclaim that if you dare to do something out of the ordinary it will have detrimental effects on your children. They will knock anyone down that they do not believe is doing the “right thing”. Well, the “right thing” for one person isn’t always the “right thing” for others. The only thing that should matter is, in the situations they are faced with, are they doing the “right thing” for their children? I have read and heard stories from mothers on both sides of the working mom vs. stay at home mom debate, on breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, on cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers, organic vs. non-organic. Can’t we all just get along? Stop judging and start just being there for the people we share a huge common ground with - Motherhood.

Now, I’m all for expressing opinions. Anyone who knows me, knows that I can have some pretty strong opinions about things. Maybe when expressing our opinions, we could at least acknowledge that there could be some very good reasons for people to chose to do things a little bit different and that is really okay. Or rather than placing so much judgement in our writing, we could simply state that this is the way we do it and list some reasons why we chose to do it this way.

No one likes being judged, not by friends or family, not by strangers. Something to think about.

Sam has spotted some dinosaurs roaming our area recently. I have not seen them, daddy has not seen them, and great-grandma has not seen them. Actually, no one has seen these dinosaurs except for Sam.

I’m not sure where they are hiding, but I would guess they live in the woods behind our house. I need to find a way to trap these dinosaurs and then move them to a different area. They are wreaking havoc on our home!

I can’t do anything without disturbing the dinosaurs. I try picking rocks up from the front yard and I get this, “No, mom-mom, that dinosaur rock.” Okay, well, the dinosaurs need to keep the rocks out of the grass otherwise they are going to hear from daddy.

We drive down the road and any little bump we hit along the way Sam will cry out, “What that? That a dinosaur!” I’m not sure if I’m running the dinosaurs over or if they are bombing our car. I haven’t gotten the whole story of the dinosaurs on the road yet.

One of the funniest things the dinosaurs do is poop. Yep, they poop. My son has apparently been accepted into their dinosaur clan, too, because he can make dinosaur poop himself. He is so talented! It is very nice when he comes out of the bathroom and announces, in front of anyone, “I make dinosaur poop. Raaawwrrr!”

Now, though, the dinosaurs are over-stepping their bounds. Somehow they are getting into our home. They are now the culprits in the toy destruction business which has been going on at our house for several weeks already. I still have not seen these dinosaurs, so I’m guessing they are some mutant form of the previous dinosaur species. I can only figure that they are either microscopic in size or that they have some invisible super power. I guess it could also be that my mind and my eyes are just not as imaginative and creative as they used to be. Darn old age!

Recently, my two-year-old’s toys have been acting up. They have been downright evil and destructive. During the past few weeks, Sam has told us that some of his toys have thrown cushions off the couch, dumped puzzle pieces on the floor, scattered Lego blocks from one end of the house to the other, and even let the bunny out of it’s cage.

I’m not really sure how to go about disciplining plastic objects. They can completely destroy the house in a matter of minutes. This leads me to believe that they would not respond well to a time out. I don’t really know about a reward system either. What would motivate a plastic Army guy or a matchbox car? Goldfish crackers? Puppy stickers? Doesn’t quite seem right. I think we need some divine intervention. I can’t handle this on my own.

The last time the toys staged a protest against cleanliness and order, I told Sam that if they continued doing this I would just have to get rid of the one’s responsible.

Well, the next time I entered Sam’s room to discover every puzzle dumped on the floor and little cars and Legos scattered everywhere, I questioned him about how this happened again. His reply this time was “Gramps did it.” He is now blaming his grandfather, who was not in the house on the day in question. I guess he figures that I won’t get rid of Gramps if he makes a mess around the house. I’m not so sure, though. If I find out that Gramps really is the one dumping puzzle pieces everywhere - he’s outta here!! Until then, call the priest because we need to perform an exorcism on the toys.

Have you ever just been really, really diappointed in someone?

Maybe it was due to something they said or didn’t say. Maybe it was because of something they did or didn’t do.

I am feeling a great deal of disappointment in a few people at this very moment. It is really nothing new, I have felt this disappointment in these same people time and again. It makes me sad that their actions, or rather lack of actions, affect others that I love very deeply. It makes me actually kind of angry that these people have been like this for what seems like forever and no matter what kinds of subtle hints are dropped, they never seem to get it. They will never understand, or know, how their actions affect others. Their loved ones.

Maybe I need to just brush it off, like others close to me have been doing for practically their entire life. I just can’t seem to let it go, though. And, even though other’s brush off their disappointment, it never really goes away. It just builds and builds and builds, until eventually disappointment turns into resentment. Resentment is never a good thing. It is not healthy to resent someone because of how they make you feel.

It would be nice if all of this could just get put out in the open, but that will never happen. Well, considering my state of mind right now, it wouldn’t take much provocation to get me to burst! That probably would not be the best way to air grievances, though.

Actually, one of the biggest problems has been addressed already. A few years ago, a loved one approached one of these people with his concerns. The outcome was not what was expected, though. Instead of understanding, this person was made to feel that all of these problems were his own fault. It was not the fault of other’s involved, but solely because of him. Looking back on this, it is not hard to see how things could have gotten turned around. This seems to be a pattern, everything always seems to be this one particular persons fault. The problem here, though, is that it is not his problem or his fault. He has just been too easy and let too much stuff go without causing a stink about it before. He has become an easy scape-goat to other’s problems. It really makes me sad and thus the disappointment grows more.

It’s very sad, also, to think that these actions and my feelings affect my children. I want to protect them from anything like this ever happening to them. I will not continue to expose them to these toxic people who don’t seem to be able to show any kind of real love or appreciation towards others. It has pretty much come down to this already. The more disappointment and resentment that I feel towards these people, just kind of makes me want to cut all ties with them. Too bad it’s easier said than done.

This really bothers me. I am a busy mom of two boys and I still find time to not only write thank you notes, but my oldest (2 years old) often creates his own thank you notes to send out. So, why is it that we never receive any thank you notes from anyone else? We have attended weddings and given nice and expensive gifts, but we never received a thank you. We have attended both bridal and baby showers and again given nice and expensive gifts, but never received a thank you. Honestly, I have to say that because of this I have quit wasting my money and my time and have chosen not to participate in some of these events. Mostly those in which I don’t really know the person very well and don’t see them very often. But why should I spend my time picking out a gift, my money buying a gift, and my time attending an event when the people are so inappreciative that they can’t even send a simple “Thanks” my way?

It sometimes makes me wonder, like at a wedding where they don’t open gifts until later, if they even received the gift. I mean if you received a nice luggage set for your wedding would you forget to send a thank you? Or if you received a DVD player would you not send a thank you? Or how about a baby bath tub complete with toys? These are just a few examples of gifts we have given, but never heard one little thank you from the recipients of these gifts. Strange, though, how I make sure that my toddler colors a picture and I find time to write a thank you for something as small as a tub of playdough or some matchbox cars.

The saying goes, “It’s the thought that counts”, well that can go the other way, too. It’s the thought that the person took to make sure that you know that they appreciated the gift and your attendance at an event.

 While I’m talking about thank you notes, here are some ideas for helping your children create their own thank you notes:

* Have your child paint on one side of a piece of paper, fold paper in half and their art becomes the outside of the card. Then, you (if your child is too young) can write a little note inside and have your child “sign” his name to it.

* My son’s 2nd birthday had a zoo theme, so I had him color & paint various zoo pictures. I cut them out and glued them onto construction paper and then I wrote the note on the back of the picture.

* Stickers make good decorations for cards.

* Take a picture of your child with the gift and simply write “Thanks” on the note.

* Or buy a package of thank you cards at the store and write the note.

It really isn’t that hard and it really is not that time consuming. The lack of appreciation in our society is getting a little ridiculous. Come on people, isn’t it worth it to lift someone’s spirits a little with a simple “thank you”?

It is official, I dropped my entrecard today. So sad. On the bright side, though, my second blog is up and ready to go with entrecard. So keep the drops coming over there: www.mommomsharmony.blogspot.com