raisegoodkids

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We enjoyed some time at the local high school this morning. The FFA (future farmers of america) sponsored a barnyard day. Students brought in their farm animals and shared stories on how to take care of the animals and what they can be used for. There was a calf and ponies, chickens, goats, pigs, bunnies, and horses. I cannot forget that there was also a big green tractor.

 We invited my father (Gramps) along with us and he took Sam around to see all the animals, while I hung back with Baby Max in the stroller. Sam did like to look at the animals, but he kept his distance. He had offers to sit on the ponies back, but he refused. He would not even touch or pet any of the animals. He liked the chickens the best. Well, he actually liked the tractor the best. He took two trips to see the tractor. He waited in line so patiently and held Gramps’s hand while they waited. He seemed ready to just take off in the tractor and go for a quick cruise around town, all he needed were the keys!

When it was time to leave, of course there were cries of “no”. But we waved good-bye to all the animals and we saved a special good-bye to the tractor. All the way home, Sam talked about the animals and continued to say, “Bye-bye tractor. Bye-bye chickies.”

By the way, I should mention since we had some flirting issues earlier this week, that Sam was well behaved and did not torture any little girls with scary monster noises!

Last night’s Ash Wednesday service began around the same time we would have eaten dinner and lasted through all of the normal bedtime rituals and preparation. I offered my two-year-old dinner before we left, but he just wasn’t hungry. Plus, we had been playing outside and he wasn’t ready to be done with his outdoor adventures. So, I gave up on dinner and concentrated on getting him to use the potty before we left. It was a struggle to get him inside and to the bathroom. He is a boy, maybe I should have just let him pee on a bush. We probably would not have had all the drama and conflict! Finally, he did go to the bathroom and then we were off to mass.

We entered the church plenty early and within just a few minutes Sam started acting up. Now, he is normally very well-behaved in church. He enjoys looking at the song books and around at all the people and pictures. But this evening, whether it be from hunger and low blood sugar or just out of being tired, he was horrible. He started jumping on the kneeler and for some reason decided that he was a monkey. He would laugh and make the monkey “ooh-ooh, ahh-ahh” sound and then laugh some more. Verbal reminders to be quiet and threatening to remove him from church did not work. The little-boy-turned-monkey behavior continued until people in front of us started to turn around to see who was the culprit of the strange noises. My husband finally removed him from church, took him outside, and reminded him to sit and listen and be quiet. After a few minutes, they returned and so did the monkey. Again, he was reminded to be quiet. Did he listen? Of course not. My husband whispered in his ear that if he didn’t sit quietly and listen he was just going to take him home. The monkey continued and, once again, Sam was removed from church. This time my husband actually took him to the car and proceeded to strap him into the car seat. Afterall, he was told that he had to go home and go to bed if he continued to act up. Sam screamed and screamed, “No, mom-mom. No, I want mom-mom.” After a few minutes, he settled down and once again it was explained to him that if he went back into the building he would sit quietly, listen, and behave. They returned. I could tell that Sam had been crying - his eyes and cheeks were red and watery. However, he sat in the pew and did not move. He stood when everyone else stood. He sang when the music played. It was a miracle! I witnessed a miracle! The monkey had been removed from my son’s body and his sweet personality returned. The rest of the service was uneventful, but as we walked out we had several people ask us about the monkey which had taken over my son’s body. It was kind of embarassing, but at least the possession was over!

I know, you’re probably thinking, “Idiot. Of course your son is a boy. What else would he be?” So, let me explain.

Today we participated in a playgroup sponsored by our Parents As Teachers organization. Sam is one of the few boys in the playgroup, I think there may have been two other boys, among a sea of girls. Well, let me say, he loves girls. Not just any girl, but older girls. Oh my, what troubles this may bring in the future! Now, I personally think that my son is adorable and one of the most handsome boys around, plus he is oozing charm. He has the ability to wrap anyone around his little finger and he knows this, too. I guess being one of the only boys in the group assists him on his mission to melt women’s hearts. It’s funny how I can see him as being a complete terrorizer while other women and girls see him as a cute and humorous little boy.

Sam started out by “assisting” the girls while they cooked in the play kitchen. Sam’s idea of help is really about the complete opposite of what the actual definition of help is. He helped by taking the food and dishes and banging them together - typical boy style. After he was bored with this and the girls quit squealing and laughing at him he moved onto better things. An older girl was writing her ABC’s on the chalkboard and, once again, Sam decided he would “assist” her in her writing. He grabbed a piece of chalk and started drawing lines and circles around her letters and the more that she protested to him being there, the more drawing he did until he had actually pretty much taken over the entire chalkboard. His closing act, which I must say that he saved the best for last, involved a piece of pretend bacon from the kitchen. You’re probably wondering what he could possibly do with a piece of bacon. Well, he turned one simple and innocent piece of bacon into a Bacon Monster. He started chasing girls with this piece of bacon, all the while making a growly monster noise. He soon discovered that he could also do this to moms. He would shake his Bacon Monster in front of their faces, growl, and then laugh. The other moms couldn’t get enough. They would gasp and say, “Oh, my” and this would just make Sam laugh more and more.

Like I said, I saw a terrorizer, but everyone else just laughed and played along with these little boy games he had created. I’ve seen this boy come out before, and I continue to catch more and more glimpses of exactly what I’m in store for in the future. It scares me a little. What am I going to do? Especially when his little brother gets a little bit bigger and his boyness comes out, too. I will be outnumbered and very well could lose complete control. Is it too soon to call for help? HELP!!

I’m not a hippie, but I do love all-natural products. Specifically, homeopathic medical remedies.

Homeopathic remedies are a part of a natural medical science that works with your body to stimulate your own bodily defenses. Conventional drugs often cause side effects because they work by suppressing symptoms, however, homeopathic medications relieve symptoms by helping to put your body’s systems into a proper balance. These remedies support the body’s own defenses so they do not cause side effects. Homeopathy is highly individualized. The same remedy given to a number of different people will not work in all cases. A homeopath will give specific remedies based on individual symptoms.

I have used, and given my children, several products from Hyland’s Homeopathic Medicines. I have used headache relief tablets, flu care tablets, and even ointments for skin irritations, cuts and bruises, and acne. They have all worked, without any side effects (like drowsiness) and have provided quick relief. I have also given my children several Hyland’s products. They have used the teething tablets, cough syrup with honey (only for my 2 year old), and cold tablets.

Dr. Jim Sears, a board-certified pediatician and star of the show “The Doctors”, endorses many Hyland’s products and supports the use of many more products. He specifically endorses Hyland’s Earache Drops and Teething Gel and he supports the use of their teething tablets, colic tablets, cold n cough, cough syrup with 100% natural honey, and the complete flu care all for kids.

I would recommend at least trying some of these remedies to see how you like them. They are not for everyone, but we have found that we like them a lot. We started with the teething tablets when our oldest was a baby and they seemed to be miracle tablets. After continued success with those, I decided to try more products and have yet to find any products that I do not like.

Infant massage is nothing new, as it goes with most natural healing methods. Massaging babies has been happening for centuries, just not so much in the Western World.

Infant massage benefits not only the baby, but also the care person giving the massage. Touch is good for everyone and infants especially benefit from this caring touch. A baby is new to this crazy world and needs some reassurance that someone is there for them. The benefits for the massage giver include an increased awareness of the baby and what their needs are and it is good for bonding.

The benefits of infant massage include: relaxation, relief, stimulation, and interaction.

Relaxation: Babies have more to adjust to now than they will ever have again. Stress is normal, even for babies. Massage can help relax the muscles and when you use massage as a form of relaxation it teaches the baby what relaxation is and how to get it. The caregiver giving the massage also benefits. As they take time out to gently massage their baby, they can de-stress at the same time.

Relief: Massage can ease some of the pain and discomfort from spasm or gas. Massage can help disperse gas, ease muscle spasm, tone the digestive system and help it to work better. There are also some massage techniques that can help to soothe teething and emotional stress.

Stimulation: Yes, massage is usually used to relax muscles, but in some cases muscles may actually need to be stimulated. Some muscles, especially in babies with physical disabilities, may be loose and weak. Infant massage will not just stimulate the muscles, it can also stimulate other body systems. It can help digestion and ease constipation. It can stimulate blood flow in babies with poor circulation. There is a statistic that says that massage can help increase weight gain in premature babies by as much as 47%.

Interaction or bonding: Bonding is the development of understanding between two people. It is the knowledge of who someone is and what they need. Bonding is an on-going process which can start at any time and continues to grow and strengthen throughout time. There are always new things to learn about your child as he grows and changes. Infant massage encourages a positive relationship between baby and caregiver.

You may want to set a massage time into your baby’s daily routine. You could establish this time first thing in the morning, after bathtime, or right before bed. Remember to keep the massage room warm enough for baby and adjust lighting so it is not too bright (unless you are looking to stimulate baby). Many massage therapists recommend using vegetable or plant based oils (grapeseed oil or sweet almond oil). These oils are easy to absorb into the skin and are easily digested if baby sucks his thumb.

Infant massage can also be a great way for daddy to bond with baby, especially if mom is breastfeeding.

Don’t forget to make eye contact with baby during the massage and you may want to incorporate talk or singing in the massage, too.

Infant massage may not be a cure-all and it may not be right for every child. Give it a try and you will know shortly after beginning if it is right for you and your child.

I received these kiddo stories in an email forward and they gave me a little chuckle this morning. I thought I’d share them and brighten your day also.

1.) On nudity: A mother was driving with her three children one warm summer evening when a  woman in a convertible ahead of them stood up and waved. She was naked! In response to what they had just seen, the five year old shouted from the back seat, “Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt.”

2.) On opinions: On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

3.) On ketchup: A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4 year old to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

4.) On nudity, again: A little boy got lost at a fitness center and found himself in the women’s locker room. Upon being spotted, the room burst into shrieks and ladies were grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

5.) On police: While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, a police officer was interrupted by a little kindergarten student. She looked the police officer up and down and asked, “Are you a cop?” The police officer answered ‘yes’ and then continued to write his report. The little girl continued, “My mother said that if I ever need help I should ask a police officer. Is that right?” Again the police officer answered ‘yes’. She replied, “Well, then would you please tie my shoe?”

6.) On police, again: At the end of the day a police officer parked his police van and was gathering equipment. His K-9 partner was barking in the van and the police officer noticed a little boy staring at him. “Is that a dog you got back there?” The police officer answered, “It sure is.” The boy looked puzzled as he looked at the police officer and then back at the van. After a few minutes he asked, “What did he do?”

7.) On elderly: A woman brought her 4 her old with her while she was delivering lunches to the elderly. The little girl was very interested in the various equipment she saw and particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day the little girl was found staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. The woman braced herself for what her daughter may say, but she simply turned to her mother and whispered, “The toothfairy will never believe this!”

8.) On dressing up: A little girl watched her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad in his tuxedo she seriously warned him, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that.” The father questioned why he wouldn’t want to wear his tux and the little girl responded, “You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”

9.) On death: A group a 5 year old boys found a dead robin. They felt that a proper burial should be performed, so they found a small box and some cotton batting. The boys dug a small hole and became ready for the disposal of the deceased bird. One little boy was chosen to say a prayer. The little boy, with such dignity in his voice sang out ”Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.”

10.) On school: A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time.” she said to her parents, “I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk.”

11.) On the Bible: A little boy opened the family Bible. He was fascinated as he looked through the pages when suddenly something fell out of the book. He picked up the object and looked at it. It was an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages. The little boy called out, “Mom, look what I found.” The mother asked what he had found and the little boy answered with amazement, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear.”

 Like I said, these little stories gave me a good laugh this morning. I hope you enjoyed reading them also. You can never be too surprised by what comes out of the mouths of babes!

I was talking to fellow parent of a toddler this weekend and she stated that she was thinking of starting the transition to potty training her son. Upon thinking of something to write about today, I came across some tips to successful potty training. I thought I’d do a follow-up on potty training ideas, as this is one of the biggies when it comes to having a 2-3 year old.

One of the first things you need to make sure of is that your child is ready, not just kind of ready, but really ready. They should be showing an interest in the bathroom and watching others go potty. They should be able to tell you or indicate when he has to go or when he has just went. He shouldn’t show any tolerance to having a dirty diaper.

Here are some other tips to making the transition a little bit easier:

1.) Give your child lots of praise and attention, lots of positive reinforcement, love and affection, and show pride in your child. Make a genuine big deal out of every attempt and success made by your child.

2.) Try bribes, give a few M&Ms each time your child goes.

3.) Target practice with cheerios when your child is learning to pee standing up. I wouldn’t recommend starting this until your child has enough balance and coordination to stand elevated on a stool and then concentrate on aiming into the toilet. That is, unless you enjoy mopping up pee and having your bathroom smell like urine.

4.) Put stickers on a sticker chart every time your child goes potty. This will give your child the chance to really see the success they are having and to show off all the stickers they have earned.

5.) Buy the big boy underwear and just go “cold turkey”. Don’t forget to protect your furniture. I made my son sit on a nice thick blanket folded up several times whenever he got on the couch.

6.) Put your child on the potty frequently. Every 20 minutes is a good place to start until you get a better idea of how often your child actually needs to go. However, do not force your child to go to the potty if he doesn’t want to. The last thing you want is for him to resent the potty and for the bathroom to end up as a battle zone.

7.) Keep your child in just underwear at first. This makes it easier to go independently.

8.) Patience and persistence on your part. You can’t give up the first time your child has an accident.

9.) Put the potty seat where your child spends most of his time. Seeing the potty seat should remind him to go more often.

10.) Travel with a potty seat. Many children are scared of public and unfamiliar toilets and having a potty seat with you will just be more convenient and less stressful for you.

There were several other tips that I found, but these ten were one’s I had actually used when potty training Sam. They worked for us and hopefully they will work for you also! Good luck!

So, I was out and about on the town last night. No, not really, but I was sitting in a church rectory learning to knit. A far cry from those wild and crazy nights of many years ago, but still a welcome relief. It’s amazing how just a few hours out of the house and away from the kids can completely rejuvenate you!

I started the evening with excitement. I like to learn and try new things. I had tried to learn to crochet before, but was unsuccessful. I could crochet single rows, but when it came time to connect rows they never added up. I would have been a wonderful maker of crocheted triangles! Upon arriving at the church, I discovered that there were quite a few ladies embarking on this new adventure and only one teacher. Oh, no!! Leave it to super MB to somewhat successfully teach us to knit. I watched and listened, she had a poem that talked about jumping Jack off. This poem was supposed to teach us the pattern of the knit stitch, but really just left us all laughing and wishing that we had some Jack to drink!

For the first hour, I successfully knitted - or rather knotted - my yarn. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I was going in the front door, out the window, and I was jumping Jack off. I was following the simple directions from the poem, but the more I jumped Jack off the more my work of art resembled a mess! Frustration was mounting. What was I doing wrong? Well, super MB swooped in and I soon discovered that I was not going in the front door like the poem instructed, but rather I was entering through a small side door. Ahh, haa! Now that the problem is solved, let’s try again. The knotted mess is gone, I’m entering through the front door and I’m jumping Jack off, and …. it looks right, let’s try again. I’m doing it, I’m really doing it!!

By the end of the second hour, I had a few rows done. Knitting was going smoothly now. So, I ask, what exactly are we making? MB shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. Oh, nothing. Well, I declare that I am making a square and I will call my square a spoon rest. Now, I have a goal. I am now making a nice white knitted spoon rest!

As I was going home, fear set in that I would fall asleep and wake up with no recollection of where the front door is and what if Jack just won’t jump off. I have sweet dreams of knitting and making beautiful creations. I wake up and after feeding the baby and slicing a banana for the older one, I knit one row, just to make sure I remember how to do it. It works! I will soon have a spoon rest I can call my very own!

I am now looking forward to my (hopefully) weekly evening at the church rectory. I am looking forward to more jokes about Jack and most importantly, I am looking forward to adult conversation, a few hours of friendship, and the relaxed feeling that comes from being out of the house and away from the kids.

A child’s self-esteem begins to develop around 2 years of age when he becomes aware of right and wrong and how things should be done. By preschool, he will show satisfaction when he does something good, but he will also show shame or disappointment when he does something wrong.

A parenting style which sets firm limits, but is also accepting, supporting, and respectful of a child’s individuality leads to the highest self-esteem. Firm limits are important to set realistic goals and social comparisons. A willingness to reason with your child allows him to explore his point of view and parental support enhances his sense of importance.

Here are some ways to help build your child’s self-esteem:

1.) avoid labeling as “good” or “bad”

2.) treat him as an individual and avoid comparing with others

3.) give your child encouragement for all of his efforts

4.) give him responsibility that is appropriate for his age

5.) provide examples of self-respect

6.) talk to your child and show a genuine interest in what he is doing

7.) praise your child for trying new things even if your child was not successful; encourage risk-taking

8.) allow your child to speak for himself

9.) avoid criticizing your child’s mistakes

10.) don’t rush your child

Also, don’t forget to teach your child the skills he will need to solve his own problems. You can help your child find solutions to a problem by asking him how he thinks he could solve the problem. If your child is having a hard time coming up with a solution, you could suggest two or three possibilities and then allow him to choose one. The best solution to a problem is one that actually solves the problem, but is also the one that makes your child feel good about himself.

I believe that everyone knows that infants and children learn skills through practice, imitation and modeling. A parent can teach a child many things without the parent even realizing it. That’s a scary thought, how many times have we done something embarrassing or said something without thinking about who was listening? I have to say, I have a problem with the word “crap” and Sam has picked up on that a few times already. Little ears have very good hearing, he can hear me say that word three rooms away and when Max is crying! Not exactly a positive way to promote communication skills, but here are some good ideas!

 Birth - 2 years

* encourage and imitate sounds like ma-ma, ba-ba, da-da

* imitate baby laughing and facial expressions that go with various feelings

* make eye contact when you’re talking to your baby

* teach baby to imitate actions like clapping hands, blow kisses, and peek-a-boo

* talk to your baby & toddler all the time, talk to them about what you are doing when you give them a bath or change their clothes

* label colors and objects and count for your children during play

* use gestures, like waving, while saying bye-bye

* introduce animal sounds

* read to your baby and toddler

2-4 years

* model good speech

* repeat what your child has said so they can hear the proper way to form sentences and make sounds

* talk about books, pictures in books, categorize items (like all things you can eat), count items in books

* help to understand questions by playing the yes/no game - ask your child simple questions like “Are you a boy?” and give them the chance to answer appropriately; also, ask your child questions which require a choice “Do you want a banana or graham cracker for snack?”

* expand your child’s vocabulary by naming everything you see and give a short description of the object - “This is my nose. I use it to smell. I can smell flowers and cookies.”

* sing and teach rhymes to your children

* place objects and toys into a container, remove one object at a time, name it and tell one thing about it

* use photographs of familiar people or places to encourage conversation

4-6 years

* give and get attention when speaking

* teach spatial relationships (first, middle, last) and opposites

* play guessing games like I Spy - describe an object and have your child guess what you are talking about

* what doesn’t belong in set categories

* introduce 2 and 3 step directives

* continue to describe and talk about everything you do and see

The more you use these techniques the easier they will become to incorporate them into your daily routine. I probably sound like a broken record some of the time. Whenever Sam hands me something I’m always saying something like, “You gave me a spoon. I will eat cereal with it.” Then again, he does know what most objects are and what they are used for and he’s learned his first curse word. What more can a mother ask for, right?