raisegoodkids

My 2 1/2 year old, Sam, loves his binks. However, we think it’s about time for him to say goodbye to it. I have a feeling that we will have a very significant amount of drama in our house for the next couple of days. How should we go about getting rid of it? Do we just throw it out and let him throw a fit about needing his binks? Do we limit the times he is allowed to use it? What’s the best way?

According to some resources, there is no rule on the appropriate age when pacifier usage should stop. The longer the pacifier is used, though, the more likely your child will become “hooked” and more dependant on having it.

Some pediatricians and speech experts believe that 12 months is a good time to stop pacifier usage. At this age, a child is beginning to develop some major foundations in speech production. If a child has a pacifier in his mouth all of the time then he is less likely to be able to babble and practice talking.

There can be some physical downfalls to using a pacifier. Significant usage can affect the way the child’s teeth look. It could cause them to tilt forward towards the lips. However, this is usually temporary and teeth can return to normal after pacifier usage has stopped.

Here are some ideas for stopping the use of pacifiers:

1.) Give the pacifier away to a new baby.

2.) Try to exchange the pacifier for a new toy or even allow your child to purchase a new toy with his pacifier.

3.) Praise your child for giving the pacifier up.

4.) Limit the usage of the pacifier. Start by only allowing it to be used at bedtime and in the car and then soon after stop usage in the car. To stop bedtime dependance, you could allow your child to fall asleep with it and then remove it after he is asleep.

5.) Your child wouldn’t want a broken binks would he? Try cutting a small portion (about one millimeter) off the tip of the pacifier. Explain to your child that it is broken and there are no more. If your child continues to use it, then just continue cutting small portions off of it until nothing remains.

I think I may propose exchanging it for a special toy and if that doesn’t work then I think Sam is going to end up with a broken binks. We’ll see what works and what doesn’t. Cross your fingers for us!!

Several news shows this morning featured stories about Jessica Simpson being fat. First of all, do we not have anything more important to talk about? Secondly, does society not understand the impact that these criticisms have on our young girls?

Psychologists and eating disorder experts agree that the fashion industry has gone too far in pushing dangerously thin images. This promotion of very thin models has caused girls and women of all ages to not like the way they look. Experts also agree that young girls are being taught that thin and sexy is the best way to be. One study found that only 18% of young girls have a high body esteem and another study found that girls 10 years and older who were exposed to the most fashion magazines suffered the most from poor body image.

There is at least one magazine out there that seems to be supporting a positive self-image. Glamour magazine believes that the media can influence a woman’s body image. The magazine states that it will not run photos of anyone who they believe to be at an unhealthy weight. The magazine also states that they do feature women of all different sizes.

Poor body image in girls is really no surprise, though, considering the following: the countless media images of thin models; mothers obsess over their own weight images; males, like dads and brothers, often show a preference for thin women; and girls’ clothing features sexy body-hugging and midriff-bearing outfits.

Poor body image can lead to participation in some very unhealthy behaviors. These include anorexia, bulimia, frequent and extreme dieting and over-exercising.

Young girls and women need to understand that participation in these behaviors can have some very severe health consequences. Anorexia can cause problems in decision making, fatigue, abdominal pain, absence of menstrual periods, depression, suicide, joint pain, and osteoporosis. Bulimia can cause tooth decay, osteoporosis, dehydration, inflammation or tears of the esophagus, fainting, abnormal heartbeat, suicide, depression, and anxiety.

What can parents do? A few things which I think may help would be parental involvement, talking to your children about body image and health, monitoring behaviors and being aware of any warning signs, and supporting activities which promote positive self-esteem. Girls and women of all ages need to realize that we all come in various shapes and sizes and no one should judge us by the way we look. True beauty comes from who we are, not what we look like.

Is the weather too cold and snowy at your house? Are your kids starting to drive you crazy because they can’t get outside to play? Here are some fun ideas to do with your children on those bad weather days.

1.) Bring the snow inside

Fill a large plastic container with snow and place it on top of a plastic tablecloth on the floor. Allow your children to build a small snowman out of the snow or you can use food coloring and experiment with color mixing.

2.) Have a concert

You can make your own instruments by using large oatmeal containers as drums and you can make shakers by filling one plastic cup with rice or beans and then connecting another cup (put the openings together) and tape together.

3.) Put on a puppet show

Use homemade sock puppets in your puppet show.

4.) Have an indoor photo shoot

Allow your children to dress-up in crazy outfits and then pose for the camera.

5.) Get out the boardgames

Memory, CandyLand, Hungry Hungry Hippos are good ones.

6.) Fingerpaint

Painting is a good opportunity to introduce color mixing, too.

7.) Bake

Bake and let your children decorate cookies.

8.) Puzzles

If your child is old enough, try doing a large interlocking puzzle together.

9.) Make snowflakes

Older children can use scissors to cut designs and younger children can color and decorate snowflake drawings with glitter and stickers.

10.) Frosty Scenes

Have your child use crayons to draw a picture on colored construction paper, then use a mixture of equal parts Epsom Salts and water to “paint” over the picture. When the mixture dries it will leave a sparkly and frosty look.

11.) Shaving Cream

Squirt some shaving cream on a plastic tablecloth and let your children explore in it. You can practice drawing shapes and letters in the shaving cream also.

12.) Paper Plate Snowman

You will need two paper plates, cut the outer rim off of one, and then glue the smaller plate to the larger one. Then let your children create and decorate their snowman by using a variety of arts and crafts materials. Items which work well include: construction paper, markers, crayons, glitter, wiggly eyes, pom pom balls, wallpaper and fabric scraps.

Enjoy the indoor time with your children and pray for warmer weather!

Becoming a parent has drastically changed the way I view many things. One of those things concerns the abortion debate. I don’t really know where I stand with this - I’m not Pro-Abortion and I’m not really Pro-Choice, but I’m also not completely Pro-Life (I guess). Here’s where I stand, abortion has been around for hundreds of years and I don’t feel that it can be made illegal because that would just lead to women participating in very dangerous ways to end a pregnancy. I do feel that there needs to be more restrictions and regulations involved when it comes to abortion. I also feel that there are times when abortion is a right and a choice that the parents will need to make. This would involve a rape, sexual assault, incest, molestation, etc., as well as, the possibility of death by the mother if the pregnancy continues. Abortion should never be used as a form of birth control. Partial birth abortions and late-term abortions need to be made illegal.

 There is a piece of legislation called the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) which, after researching, has caused me some concern. This Act would reverse practically all restrictions and regulations on abortion in all jurisdictions. It would overturn the following: State abortion reporting requirements; state laws concerning parental involvement; state laws on restricting later-term abortions and partial-birth abortions; state conscience protection laws for individual health care providers; state conscience protection laws for institutions; state laws on requiring counseling before an abortion; and state laws concerning ultrasounds before an abortion.

 Now, being a parent, has definitely made me more sensitive to this topic. I can remember what it felt like to carry my boys inside of me and how careful I was to make sure I was doing everything “right”. When I think about my babies and then think of possibly killing them through abortion - it just makes no sense, I cannot understand it. Then, to think about all the restrictions which would be lifted through FOCA, again it concerned me. Why would we want to take away parental involvement for a procedure which could have huge emotional and physical effects on an individual? Why would we reverse restrictions on late-term and partial-birth abortions when research has found that a baby’s heart begins to beat at 18 days after conception, when brain waves have been recorded at 42 days, and at 11 weeks the baby has spontaneous breathing movements and all of it’s body systems are functioning, at 18 weeks the baby’s vocal cords work and it can cry. Why should partial-birth abortions and late-term abortions be legal when at 23 weeks there is a 15% chance of viability outside the womb, at 24 weeks that increases to 56%, and at 25 weeks the chance of viability outside the womb is 79%. If a baby has the potential to live on it’s own outside of the mother’s womb and it is killed through abortion, then isn’t that murder? You are killing something that could survive without the nourishment from it’s mother. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Also, the federal government’s proposal to lift the state laws on counseling and ultrasounds before completing an abortion, seems both physically and emotionally dangerous. I would think that such a life altering and potentially harmful decision should require extensive counseling and providing mandatory ultrasounds could drastically change a woman’s mind about even continuing with the procedure. Seeing the baby growing inside of her and hearing the heart beating so fast may affect the woman so greatly that she would decide to continue the pregnancy. She may not decide to raise the baby herself, but she could decide to give it up for adoption and bring so much joy to a family who so desperately wants to have a baby.

As the saying goes, “a baby changes everything”. It really does, from the minute you find out you are pregnant your whole world is turned upside down. Suddenly priorities and lives change and if you’re not sure that being a parent is in the cards for you, then that can be a very difficult thing to go through. Despite everything, though, abortion just may not be the answer. There are other ways to handle this difficult situation, maybe there should be more federal backing of adoption and assistance to those parents looking to adopt in the United States. Just a thought.

You’re probably wondering if I have lost my mind completely to think that a child’s temper tantrum can be funny. Let me describe how dramatic Sam’s tantrums have become and maybe you’ll understand why I can’t resist a little chuckle every now and then. He will start by asking for something which is a definite “no”, like going outside in his underwear and snow boots. I will respond to his request with, “No. You need to put clothes on if you’re going outside.” He will scream and throw his favorite pacifier (which he thinks he cannot live without) on the floor and then so dramatically throw his arm out and reach for his pacifier and cry out, “BINKS!!!!” It is so dramatic and completely ridiculous that it’s just downright funny. I can laugh because the majority of Sam’s tantrums happen at home and he’s usually very well behaved in public, but what do you do when a tantrum does occur in public? Here are some steps to preventing tantrums:

1.) Anticipate the Tantrum

In order to prevent an outburst you need to be able to predict when a tantrum may occur. Every child has a few signals that he gives to indicate a meltdown may happen. If you notice your child giving any of these signals you will want to redirect him in any way possible. You may want to direct his attention elsewhere by pointing out something interesting or just by offering to do something different. Also, if you see that your child is starting to get frustrated you will want to try to soothe him and talk to him in an understanding way and explain to him what you are doing and what your child may get to do later. You will need to figure out the best way to talk-down or redirect your child’s tantrums and once you do, use that method quickly to dismiss a possible full-blown explosion.

2.) Zero Tolerance

If a full-blown tantrum occurs, you must refuse to have any interaction with your child until the behavior stops. I often find myself ignoring Sam and just moving to a different room when he starts to act this way. Someone once told me that the best way to stop a tantrum is to remove the audience. A tantrum occurs because the child has figured out that when he acts this way he usually gets what he wants. Well, if you ignore it and make yourself busy with something else, especially something fun that the child may want to participate in, the tantrum is likely to subside. Your child needs to know that the behavior will not be tolerated and that you will simply not pay any attention to him until he calms down.

3.) Consistency

The zero tolerance method may be impossible to do in public and you may need to physically remove him from the public eye - take him to the car or a restroom and then make yourself busy with a magazine or balancing the checkbook. Until your child knows that you mean business and you will tolerate these behaviors the tantrums will continue. The more consistent you are with zero tolerance, the more quickly your child will understand that he is not going to get away with having a tantrum.

4.) Talk about other ways to deal with frustrations

Teach your child feeling words like angry, mad, and sad. After the tantrum has ended, use these words to help your child understand how he was feeling, “You were angry because you wanted to stay at the park, but it’s time to go home for lunch now.” Help your child to understand that these feelings are okay and everyone feels this way sometimes. Use these feeling words on yourself, too, when you find yourself becoming angry, mad, or sad. “Mommy is mad right now because she broke her favorite coffee mug.”

5.) Time Out

The time out method is usually not recommended unless the child is at least 3 years old. Tell your child that his behavior will not be tolerated and he needs to sit quietly, in a secluded place if possible, until they know how to act more appropriately. The general rule for the length of a time out is one minute per age of the child, so if your child is 4 years old and needs a time out he will sit for 4 minutes. If you are going to use the time out method, it is important to talk about the behavior after the child has calmed down. When the time out is over, go to the child and ask him if he knows why he was asked to sit out. If he cannot tell you, then you need to explain his behavior to him and why it was not appropriate. When it is clear that he understands this and you feel that the behavior is truly finished then the time out can officially be ended.

I joked in the beginning that Sam’s tantrums have become funny, but I never let him see me laugh. You never want to encourage these behaviors by acknowledging them in any way. Sometimes I have to walk away from him just so I can enjoy his 2 year old dramatics.

If you have read my “About Me” page, you know that I am a former special education teacher. I would like to give a sort of behind the scenes look of what my typical day in teaching looked like.

7:15 a.m. Arrive at school and start preparations for the day, making copies and gathering materials needed, checking emails, working on IEPs or data collection percentages for IEP goals

7:30 a.m. Once a week attended an Early Childhood Special Education team meeting in which we discussed any issues, child referrals to special education, and testing results

8:00 a.m. Morning session begins

11:00 a.m. Morning session ends and I get about 15 minutes to have a quick lunch. I return phone calls and check emails again, I usually have to track down the principal to discuss some sort of problem with a child or parent only to be given the cold shoulder because most building administrators really want nothing to do with special education and think that it is someone else’s problem, and then I begin preparations for the next session.

12:00 p.m. Afternoon session begins - that’s right I got an hour for lunch and my plan time and sometimes not even an hour because at least once a week there would be a late pickup of a child

3:00 p.m. Afternoon session ends, but once again there are usually late parents, I return phone calls, check emails, and finish up any other business

3:30 p.m. This is the time that most IEP meetings are held, they last at least an hour but often longer

Now when you look at this schedule it may not look just too bad, but think about this, a teacher’s salary is contracted based on an 8 hour day. I did not get any extra pay the time spent at school before or after. What other job or company would expect it’s workers to dedicate so much of their personal time and not receive any compensation for it?

So, the next time you ask to meet with your child’s teacher please remember this and make it worth her time. I don’t think I could even tell you about all of the ridiculous things parents have “needed” to meet with me about, but just for fun here are a few. One parent requested a meeting to talk about the stale pretzels we had for snack one day. Well, when snacks are bought with my own money I plan to get every last usage out of them - they donated some snacks after that meeting! Another parent wanted to meet with me about why I wasn’t teaching some foreign language words in my class - seriously, I’m supposed to teach children with English speaking speech delays another language. This parent wouldn’t let up with this either, her child had one of the most serious speech delays I’ve ever encountered and yet she wanted him to speak another language, let’s just concentrate on being able to understand him in English please. Finally, one of my favorites, a parent actually wasted my time by leaving me an urgent message to call her back. You will never believe what she said about her 4 year old daughter. She asked if she was crabby at school and to quote, “because she was a real B_T_H (you can fill in the blanks) to me this morning.” What do you say to that? Unbelievable, and what did I get out of having to put up with this - nothing!

Are you as confused as I am about all the recent peanut product recalls? It seems like new products are being added everyday. Are there any safe peanut products out there? I decided to go right to the source to find out exactly what the story is with these recalls. I went to the FDA website for information and found exactly what I was looking for and more. By more, I mean an 8 page listing of every peanut product recall as of January 20^th.

The FDA is continuing an active investigation into the source of the Salmonella Typhimurium outbreak. They have traced sources of Salmonella contamination to a plant owned by Peanut Corporation of America (PCA) which manufactures peanut butter and peanut paste. These products are then distributed to food manufacturers to be used as an ingredient in products like cakes, cookies, crackers, candies, cereal, and ice cream. PCA also distributes peanut butter to institutions such as long-term care facilities and cafeterias.

On January 18, 2009, the PCA voluntarily recalled peanut butter and peanut paste products manufactured on or after July 1, 2008 at it’s Blakely, GA plant because of the potential of Salmonella contamination. These recent recalled products are sold by PCA in bulk and are not sold directly to consumers. The PCA has also stopped all production at this Georgia plant.

The FDA is continuing it’s investigation into the Salmonella contamination and recommends that consumers stay up to date with all recall information. The FDA also recommends that consumers avoid eating recalled products and to get rid of them in a fashion which would prevent others, including pets, from eating them also.

The FDA has created a list of products and brands associated with this recall and is keeping it updated on a regular basis as additional products continue to be added. Please refer to the FDA website for a complete list of peanut product recalls.

Some brands affected by this recall include, but is not limited to the following: King Nut, Austin, Kellogg, Keebler, Hy-Vee, Famous Amos, Little Debbie, and Walmart.

http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/peanutbutterrecall/index.cfm

As I watched the inauguration of Barack Obama on Tuesday, I tried to find the right words to express what a special moment we were watching to my son. We sat on the floor together and watched the flags flying and listened to the music playing, but I just couldn’t come up with an age-appropriate way to talk about what was happening. I tried to tell him that this was an important moment in history and that it was something our country had never seen before. I tried to tell him to never forget what he was seeing, to try and remember this forever. I told him about how we had a new president and what an important job that is to have. I even pointed out the old president and tried to explain that his turn to have the job was over. I told him that being president is such an important job that people have to take turns doing it. I asked Sam what he thought about what we were watching as I continued to point out the importance of the day. However, he just didn’t seem too into it, but what else would you expect from a toddler. He would run off and play a little and then come back and watch some more with me. In the end, though, the moment wasn’t completely lost. When it was over, his response to everything we had seen and heard was, “I like the music. Where’d the music go?” Maybe he will remember something about the day.

In honor of my husband’s birthday, I am dedicating this to him.

What makes you the best husband and father:

* Your constant attention

* Your playful spirit

* Always putting us first

* Your hard work and long hours

* Always understanding my various moods

* Doing what you can, when you can

* Never overlooking the little things

* Patience, patience, and more patience

* You are trustworthy

* You’re always there to pick up the pieces whenever I fall apart

* Your constant bravery (especially with spiders)

This is for you, Craig. I may not say it enough, probably because I don’t have the time, but I don’t want you to forget how much I appreciate you. I am so proud of you, you have become so much and more. You are one of the smartest and most caring men I know. Please never forget how much you mean to us. We will always love you! Oh, and Happy Birthday!!

With another Parents As Teachers home visit approaching this week, I thought I would take some time to write about the program and some of our personal experiences.

The history of Parents As Teachers, or PAT, started in Missouri in the 1970s. Educators began to note that children were entering kindergarten with a broad range of learning readiness. Research done at the time indicated that greater family involvement in children’s learning is an important link in the child’s development and academic ability. This probably seems like common sense to most parents now, but this was ground-breaking research at the time. Early childhood professionals suggested that a program should be developed to help parents understand their child’s development and what their role should be in the early education of their children. They suggested that this program educate parents on how their child’s development from birth on could help prepare them for school and other life successes. The program started in Missouri in 1981 with help and funding from the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education and The Danforth Foundation. PAT started as a pilot project for first-time parents of newborns. In 1985, state funding was provided in order to implement the Parents As Teachers program in all Missouri school districts. Since 1985, the program has expanded to all 50 states and even to other countries.

Parents As Teachers provides parents with child development knowledge and parenting support. The program serves parents throughout pregnancy until the child enters kindergarten. The PAT vision is that all children will learn, grow, and develop to realize their full potential. Their mission is to provide the information, support, and encouragement parents need to help their children’s development during the early years of life. Program goals for PAT include: 1.) increasing parent knowledge of early childhood development and to improve parenting practices; 2.) provide early detection of developmental delays and health issues; 3.) prevent child abuse and neglect; and 4.) increase children’s school readiness and success.

We have been participating in Parents As Teachers since I was pregnant with our first child. They have provided us with prenatal knowledge of our child’s growth and development and continue to do this with every age and stage our children go through. We participate in home visits provided by our Parent Educator. The educator comes prepared with developmentally and age appropriate activities for our children, knowledge of child development, and suggestions for us to keep our children on a steady path of learning. We have also participated in various out-of-home activities provided by our school district’s Parents As Teachers program,  including trips to the pumpkin patch, a barnyard day, and a “Things That Go” night focusing on different means of transportation.

If you do not participate in the Parents As Teachers program, I would recommend contacting your local school district and getting your family signed up. Brain development research shows that you get the biggest payoff the earlier you start teaching your child. As PAT says, every child is “Born to Learn.”